stomachache

Last night I met a six-year-old little boy who had just spent his first day with a family in our church. It is his sixth family in the last year and a half that he has been bounced around to. I spoke with his new foster parents on Friday and was sick to my stomach for him. I really don't understand how as a society we can treat our children this way! I wonder how there is much hope for him to be a trusting adult with the hell he has been through at the hands of his own parents, and then by the system. Jason and I have talked long and hard about becoming foster parents, however I really don't agree with the ideology of attempting to place children back with parents at all costs. I have watched children come into my day care with cigarette burns on their feet and bruises on their backs all to have social work place them in the hands of their abusers again and again. Many people in this country say they will adopt, but that the red tape of our system is more than they can handle. Look at case after case of children after an adoption, being given back to parents who did not want them in the first place. Jason and I don't know if we could love a child all to have them placed into danger again.
As for Nathan please pray that this home will be his last. He got a stomachache after his first few minutes in class and we called his new parents. I would have a stomachache as well. The social worker was really great at explaining all the trauma he would encounter as a result of the change in family. A stomachache was evidently one of the side-effects.

What do you think?

Jason and I worked on a new Logo for the kid's ministry. I wanted to get your opinion.

a few questions

So much is happening in Kid's ministry that I am so excited I can hardly contain myself! I feel like I have so much ahead of me. I wanted to write this to ask some questions of all of you.
1. What is the single most important thing your church can do for your kids?
2. What can a teacher do to make you feel comfortable leaving your children with them?
3. What are the difficult things for you regarding teaching a class?

The Ride

I spoke with Tammy this morning. It is amazing how beautiful a woman can look bald. She gives me hope that mom will come through this.
My Mom says "don't ask why... Say why not." I think neither thing. Life to me is being in the ocean. It is powerful, and even the most skilled can go under. The ride is amazing; the waves take you places you could never go yourself. The strong tide will batter and bruise you, and will lift you up on high like nothing else can. No matter what we do controlling the ocean is not a possibility. I am not taking God out of this necessarily. I just think we live in an imperfect world. He planned for us to have the amazing, and we chose self destruction. I can't just blame it on Adam and Eve. Knowing who I am, I think I would have eaten the apple too. I can't blame God, I made the choice, I chose sin, I choose Christ, I choose the ride.

We sang an old song in church today that flooded me with memories.

You are my shepherd I have no needs
You lead me by peaceful streams
And You refresh my life.
Because You are in control
Because You and in control

I sang this song over and over after we lost our sweet baby to a miscarriage. I sang this song over Alyson as she labored to have her beautiful son. I sing this song now as my Mom begins her long journey with cancer. Sometimes I feel so out of control and I don't always believe Him. But the words to this song speak to the deep inside of me and I know in my heart my God is in control.

joy

Do you ever wonder what you will be like when you are old? I went to the doctor today and sat next to a woman in the waiting room. I bet she was somewhere in her eighties. She was beautiful and unattractive all at the same time. She only had one arm and curly gray hair all stuck to the top of her head. She was arguing with her daughter sitting across the room about the medication she was on. They grumbled a bit, and her daughter rolled her eyes a bit, the usual relational stuff I guess. I was just struck by the old woman’s sourpuss face. Even after the medication disagreement was resolved and conversation got lighter the sour look stayed. The lines on her face prove to me that she had carried that look around for quite sometime. I have worked with the elderly and I must say that the majority has the same look. It caused me to ask the question "will I be that weary and bothered with life that a smile will be a thing of the past?" I know slowly loosing ones health is horrifying. But there must be something we can hold onto in our old age. Something in spite of our pain that makes us laugh. I am putting all of my hope in Jesus on this one. It is occurring to me that we need to diligently practice joy now, so that it is second nature when hard times come our way. Maybe this poor woman never chooses joy in her life. We are all so serious and tense. I don't know about you but I anticipate the worst sometimes before it ever comes. I need to let life come at me and laugh in its face. I need to love unabashedly. I need to smile at everyone! The love of Jesus radiating through my being... this is what is going to last.
"I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior." Habakkuk 3:18

a little happy

Saturday I decided to go out and get me a little happy. I first went to the tanning both and attempted to get some sun. I know it is not good for me....BUT OOOH LA LA it felt goooood! I then went and got fake nails and a pedicure. The lady sitting next to me was probably 65. She looked 90 and had wrinkly orange skin and nails that did not stop. Her makeup was a little more obvious than Tammy Fay's. She had that raspy smokers laugh and teased me for getting little stub fingernails. She then talked about going to the tanning booth and I said "wow!!! you look so natural I would have never guessed". Pastors wives do sometime lie. I had a little fear come over me like maybe she had been trying to get herself a “little happy” for years. I feel better and don't feel guilty for going and doing something for myself but it did occur to me that "getting a little happy" can become a lifestyle, and that lifestyle can have some really ugly consequences.

PLEASE SHINE DOWN ON ME!!!!

If the Bible says we have the power to move mountains then why can I not will the sun to shine in this God forsaken land? The "wacky weather man” as he likes to be called just confirmed what I already knew that the sun has barely poked its head out in 14 days. Did you catch that.... 14 days! I know... I know... there are so many greater problems in this world and I should count my lucky stars. The sky is so darn gray or "greasy" as Judah likes to call it that I can't seem to find any stars to count.

OH MR. SUN SUN MR. GOLDEN SUN

PLEASE SHINE DOWN ON ME!!!!

dolls dolls dolls

Well Savannah's dolls are officially designed. We hope the orders come pouring in and Savannah can make enough money to go to Panama. Prototype after prototype and a little help from my mom and we finally got what we wanted. Now all we need to do is the cutting out and sewing. Savannah is getting really great at all of it except for the hand sewing which she has informed me is my job in all of this. You will all be getting a letter and a picture, I hope you have some room in your house and pocket books for a hand made doll with the colors of the flag from Panama.